• ‘Only machines make no mistakes’

    ‘Only machines make no mistakes’

    ‘The dead-alive also write, walk, speak, act. But they make no mistakes; only machines make no mistakes, and they produce only dead things. The alive-alive are constantly in error, in search, in questions, in torment.’ Yevgeny Zamyatin Part of the reason I finally decided to abandon teaching was the awfulness…

  • ‘Long-famous glories, immemorial shames’

    ‘Long-famous glories, immemorial shames’

    ‘Mama, what colour paper should I use to draw The World War?’ ‘Green?’ ‘I’m going to use purple because of the darkness and the gas.’ And I’m thinking, ‘who told her about the gas? She might have a nightmare.’ Tiny bits of information leave powerful and lasting impressions in children’s…

  • ‘I’ve got thoughts and secrets and bloody life inside me that he doesn’t know is there’

    ‘I’ve got thoughts and secrets and bloody life inside me that he doesn’t know is there’

    It’s hard to wake up after half term. My daughter is tired; she gurns, claims to ‘hate school’, ‘hate porridge’ and ‘hate babies’ (a dig at her brother). I lose my temper before we leave the house. Alas we don’t live in a utopia where all adults are kind and…

  • ‘At best, he learns how to avoid punishment.’

    ‘At best, he learns how to avoid punishment.’

    While reading about Octopus behaviour, I was reminded of my daughter. Peter Godfrey-Smith relates ‘famous octopus anecdotes…of escape and thievery’ (Other Minds, 2016, p. 55). For instance, a certain octopus, when fed with thawed-out squid (‘second-rate food’), waited for the scientist who had fed it to walk back past the…

  • ‘I am dealing with people and not with things.’

    ‘I am dealing with people and not with things.’

    My daughter’s teacher had a quiet word after school about how she gets upset and declares, ‘I can’t do’ Maths. As we walked away, my daughter covered her ears, shut her eyes and half shouted, ‘I know what you were talking about!’ Her teacher only wants to help. It is…

  • ‘Does it guess easy? It must have a competition with us, my preciouss!’

    ‘Does it guess easy? It must have a competition with us, my preciouss!’

    What is creativity and how do you acquire it? Is it innate, learned, or is there magic juice you can squeeze on a child’s eyelids to engender it? My daughter likes to make things up, she talks a lot. People have called her creative; but her fluency with words comes from…

  • ‘How the hell do you hope to get a job when you never listen to anythin’?’

    ‘How the hell do you hope to get a job when you never listen to anythin’?’

    For two years, my daughter and I have been painfully climbing the Oxford Reading Tree (reading books used in 80% of UK primary schools). I agree that readers designed to improve literacy step by step are needed; but I wonder why the pace has to be so unbearably slow. Before the…

  • “God only knows what it’s doing to our children’s brains.”

    “God only knows what it’s doing to our children’s brains.”

    Facebook is after our children’s eyeballs, which should surprise no one. In December last year, Facebook launched ‘Messenger Kids’ for 6 – 12 year-olds; in May they ignored a petition signed by 21,000 child health advocates asking them to scrap it (Guardian, 2018).  Facebook tells us that their app is…

  • “Smells of dust, the dust of time, Egyptian dust…”

    “Smells of dust, the dust of time, Egyptian dust…”

    Books are being pulped, (Unison, 2017) What else could happen when the schools, libraries and shops no longer require them? In my town there are two charity shops where you can buy a book for 25 pence; the same shops have recycling bins for the piles of useless pages they just…

  • Disney Ate My Daughter…

    Disney Ate My Daughter…

    This year, a few prominent feminists have argued against the #MeToo movement. Germaine Greer calls on women to stand up for themselves – “In the old days…we weren’t afraid of him…” (Guardian, 23rd Jan 2018). Camille Paglia has said that treating women as “more vulnerable, virtuous or credible,” is “counterproductive.”…